I spent part of this evening decorating for the winter holidays with my roommates, in some ways more appropriate than others. For those of you who don’t know my living situation, this is my first time living with non-Jewish people. Its been lovingly called an ‘Interfaith House’. I haven’t had any problems with this, besides being told to ‘get over myself’ when I explained that I wait three hours between meat and milk. Regardless, like any Jewish person living in America knows, Christmas time is always a dicey time. Let’s face it, Hanukkah pretty much has nothing on aesthetics like Christmas does. A fully lit Chanukkiah/menorah is beautiful but Christmas lights are just awesome. I can appreciate the traditions of Hanukkah but Christmas just wows my brain with its over the top glitz and glam.
I may be impressed by Christmas but I suck at decorating for it. Really. I tried hanging garlands of tinsel and even though I wasn’t (totally) intoxicated, it looks as though I was blitzed. Everything is crooked, unbalanced and uneven. I could blame the height issue but I think the real issue is that I’m not supposed to be decorating for Christmas. I can decorate for birthdays and other holidays really well but something within me won’t let me fully tap that potential on Christmas. Is this some divine message from above telling me not to touch anything that is red and green? Am I only permitted to stick to the blue and gold? The real question is, should I, as a Jew, be decorating for Christmas, a holiday I don’t celebrate but wish I superficially did?
It’s a tough issue. I know a lot of people who celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah and somehow manage to decorate without stress. People glibly drop the phrase “Chrismakkah” without a second thought. Why am I the Grinch when it comes to Hanukkah? I constantly say how much I think Hanukkah is lame in comparison to the other holidays but what am I hiding from? I guess I am wowed by Christmas because of all its dazzle. I personally don’t believe in the religiosity behind it but there is something about the way it literally defines our society that clearly beckons me. Everything from November to the end of December revolves around Christmas. I’ve already gotten shafted at the Wheaton mall with parking the past three times I was there. I hear Christmas music on all my radio stations and find myself singing along, somehow knowing the words even though I can’t recall learning them.
I think Christmas is that cool table I never sat at in middle school. I’ve never had a problem being an outsider but for once, it’d be wonderful to just fit in. I don’t want to complain (well, I obviously do) but everything I do is different. I'm short. I have crazy hair. My biceps are really big. I'm from Connecticut. I’ve never been just average. The funny part is, I don’t think I’m allowed to. Everything about me is a little off and maybe that’s why I suck at tinsel. Maybe I’m destined to be an anomaly. I’m stuck in that religious limbo where I celebrate Hanukkah but treat Christmas as the forbidden fruit. It’s fun tying tinsel on the puppy but ultimately I guess I’m just supposed to suck it up and eat my latkes.
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