Musings on BoltBus, continued.

Ah, Bolt Bus. My favorite mode of transportation from Maryland to New York City. What’s not to love—the free WiFi, the outlets, the droves college males in the rows across from me and the jovial drivers who sing to you?  I actually prefer to take the bus than drive because driving through New Jersey makes me want to punt children and the bus gives me a chance to update the blog. And, my good friend Jon Katz is sitting next to me and providing excellent banter (as well as sucking up more of the precious bandwidth on this bus).

Actually, it started of as an awkward ride because I managed to insult my driver from not once but twice, and we haven’t hit Baltimore yet.  As I was about to board, I showed him my confirmation sheet and pointed out the number to him and he said ‘Oh, thanks! THAT’S what that number is”. Fine, whatever. I’d be miserable if I had to drive a bus on St. Patrick’s Day too. I guess the second insult was my fault because he announced to the bus that the right side outlets didn’t work and I said to Jon ‘That’s going to suck for the Baltimorons” and then out of nowhere, he said ‘Hey, I’m from Baltimore. You should lower your voice”. He’s a dick and I hate the fact he’s a buzzkill for the ride. I’ll show you, I’m not listening to the announcements you’re giving now. Fuck safety regulations. Maybe I’ll keep my cellphone on loud just to show everyone.

What a week it’s been. While I am personally happy with my new computer (finally named Mac-gyver…thanks Timmy!), the rest of the world is literally going to shit. I’ve found myself  addicted to news from Japan. I heard that the whole country of Japan literally shifted 8 feet from the earthquake and even more terrifying, the quake shook the Earth so much that we lost a fraction of a second of time. While that doesn’t seem to be a big deal, just think about how much force must have been required to disrupt the tilt of the Earth’s axis that much. I don’t understand or really believe in science that much but still, I’m terrified.

Yet, despite all of the terribleness, I still find myself smiling and singing. Why? Because I’ve discovered the worst thing in the world on YouTube: Friday. The annoyingly catch ramblings of a preteen singing about parties, days of the week and the omnipresent dilemma in all of our lives: where to sit in the car. I’ve already listened to it 5 times today, and probably will listen five times more.  Honestly, I hate that I love this song and more importantly I love that I hate it. I think Rebecca Black’s lifestyle of partying with underage kids with braces is a choice I can get behind. My friends are better dances than her cohorts in the backseat but I enjoy their fumbles. Plus, if I could hang around a larger, questionably pedophiliac Black male, I’m sure I would too. He tosses some good jams. Thanks again Rebecca for teaching me the days of the week and reminding me to eat cereal every morning at seven. It’s Friday, Friday….damnit!

Once you go Mac, you never go back…

Just like the fight between Capulets v. Montagues, skiing v. snowboarding, Jessica Alba v. Jessica Biel, and Edward v. Jacob, I’ve entered the arena of PC v. Mac. I’ve grown up with PCs my whole life. For the past four and a half years, I’ve had a PC. Perhaps I’m technologically cursed (I have been through a lot of cellphones), but this particular PC gave me nothing but trouble. I had to replace the hard drive twice, deal with countless viruses, constant errors and my current problem of loose wiring that resulted in a seizure-esque experience when I want to watch downloaded copies of Modern Family. But no more.

Justin Long NOT included. Thank God!

Congratulations, you are talking to one of the newest members of the Apple Family. At least that’s what Jennifer told me as I was leaving the store armed with my MacBook Pro. Fed up at last with my glitch screens and lag times, I said enough was enough. (note: i'm not blasting PCs.  I just didn't like the last one I had. In fact, I'm a particular fan of Dells myself)  I braved the monsoon outside and drove to Bethesder/ Bethesda. I always feel like I’m getting judged when I go to Bethesda because I’m diversity there. I’m not a member of a golf country club and I don’t drive a BMW. I feel that they judged me right down to my fish filet breath. But not at the Apple store.  I was welcomed in a way that was almost like a cult. Everyone was helpful , especially with the financing part. I didn’t have to sign away my soul or turn tricks to afford this.

Luckily, my roommate Clyde was able to school me in this wonderful piece of technology. He’s the one that introduced me to the iPhone too, so I pretty much owe him major. I never had the urge to before, but now all I want to do is make movies and create photo slideshows. If you want to video chat me, hit me up! I have a camera built into this bad boy. For once, I’m actually on the cutting edge of technology and I’m going to let this feeling ride for a while. It’s going to take time to get used to this, but I got this. I should have shouted Leroy Jenkins when I bought this.  I still don’t know what to name the Macbook . The winner for the moment is Mac Taylor, ala CSI:NY.

Listen, I get that now I’m one of those Apple people. You can call me a douche bag. I should probably continue to eat more of my meals at Panera, drink exclusively at Starbucks and do pottery class. Well, maybe I will. This is a turning point. It’s so shiny and I just keep stroking it. There is a touchpad preference menu, and the things I can do with 1, 2, 3 or 4 fingers is enough to make me flush with anticipation. I’m hot for Apple and I don’t care who knows it.

May your hats fly as high as your dreams

Earlier this evening, I spoke on part of a panel for the Undergraduate Communications Association at University of Maryland. For one hour, with three other professionals, I discussed how I got my job, a typical day on the job, my experience in communication and one thing I wished to impart to the group. For the first 22 years of my life, I’ve always been in the audience. I never had that cool thing to share at show and tell in grade school and in high school, I didn’t go to Spain over winter break and bring back an authentic poncho. Even in college, I wasn’t the president of some pre-professional club. Hell, I was an English major. I’ve always been nose deep in novels and suffering from the horrible afflictions of  writer’s cramp and block, respectively. Needless to say, I never thought less of myself but less of the people who paraded in front of everyone bragging about their success. That was until today, when I got to be one of those people.

It’s a strange feeling realizing that you’ve taken a lot of your life lessons for granted until somebody asks you for them. When I was working with my boss today on these prompts, it made me grasp just how much you can accomplish in a year, and I’m not just talking about drinking 50 new beers in two and a half months. A lot of people are used to dismissing what they’ve done as ‘not important’, ‘menial’ or ‘beneath them’. I’m not saying I inspired the kids to reach for the stars and thank everyone who ever believed in them. There was no ‘oh captain, my captain’ Robin Williams Dead Poets’ Society moment. That would have been awesome. Although if the kids stood on their desks, they would have been taller than me and I would have lost my dominance. Furthermore, I didn’t run the session like Michael Scott did in that episode of the Office, “Business School”. I so desperately wanted to rip some textbook in half and say “You cannot learn from books. Replace these pages with life lessons, and then, you will have... a book... that is worth its weight in gold. I know these are expensive, but the lesson is priceless”.

But I’m not inspirational, really. The only thing I was able to impart is to remain humble, which might be a good life lesson. Everybody has something to offer, whether you’ve worked at CNN for ten years like the man on my left did or was part of the creation team for HOT 99.5 like the woman on my right was. The most important thing I took from today was that you could be working for 40 years and you’ll share the same advice as someone who’s worked for 1 year. Or they may have cheated off my notes. Those bastards. Maybe we’re just saying what we think is the right thing to say. I still don’t get the deal with Twitter even though everyone but me touted it.

Anyways, my point is, you’re all special. Don’t listen to Tyler Durden. You are a beautiful and unique snowflake. Well, you're still the same decaying organic matter as everything else but that doesn’t make your time on this planet any less special. So to all my friends who have been working for a few months, years, decades or are still looking for employment: don’t stop learning, ever. Even this paltry blog has helped my business writing. Everything you do now is important to you later and even though I’m tiny, I have big beliefs in you. Don’t dismiss anything you do or pick up along the way. Like those weird references in Family Guy, it can always come up to be relevant in the future.

And *this* is what I should have said to the 25% of the students who were listening to me. And to the other 75% who were texting and looking at porn on their laptops (don’t think I didn’t notice you!), I hope that you enjoyed that free pizza because it’s the last good meal you’ll get before you’re on food stamps for not even trying to get a job.