This blog entry is about tits.

I got to thinking about my blog the other day and how political and actually intelligent it was sounding. I was getting boring and straying from my original goal of providing ridiculous stories and observations to my fellow readers. In order to prove my point, I’m going to talk about something everyone loves—tits. Seriously, we all do. Admit it.

I was driving yesterday afternoon and I passed a billboard with a chick in a push-up bra on it. Regardless of the fact she was super hot and super airbrushed, it got me to thinking about whether push-up bras are fair. Are they false advertising or are they a revolutionary wonder? Actually, they aren’t that revolutionary. A quick read about the history of the bra on Wikipedia stated that women have been pushing their breasts up since ancient Greek times, and probably a lot earlier than that. I’m sure Eve had a terrific rack. Needless to say, this idea of heaving bosoms up to make them more noticeable has been going on for centuries, but bras are much better now and improving every day. Just because the technology is there, should we use it?

would you talk to me if my boobs didn't look this awesome if you knew in reality that nipples pointed in two different directions and lefty was smaller than righty when my bra came off?

As my lady readers will back me up, we all have that ‘one bra’ that just makes us feel spectacular. I wore mine on Sunday and felt like a million bucks. Even though it was under a grubby shirt I spilled pizza on, I still felt like Pamela Anderson . It’s that one bra where you just feel fantastic all day, even if no one else can see it. Luckily, someone else did, which just made my Sunday even better :-p

Anyways, I digress. I want to get back to whether push-up bras are the same problem as steroids are in baseball. Are women just doping up their boobs in order to score? I’ve always wondered if guys just hit on girls because they think what they are packing in the front is going to look like that when the bra comes off. Or, do you guys include that in your judgment of her appearance? This begs my original question: are push-up bras fair? As in, is it worth the eventual disappointment that a girl’s tits aren’t going to look nearly as spectacular as they do at the bar when you bring her home and realize she’s a B instead of a D? What do you guys think? Or, are you too drunk at that point to care? Is it the chase, or is it honesty?

Victoria’s Secret has a product they call the Bombshell Bra, and it instantly brings you up two cups sizes. I’ve tried this on and it was as if my boobs were encased in decorative pillows from Pier 1. It was a magnificent site (as reiterated profusely by the guy friend I was with when I tried it on). Even though it cost more that $50 and didn’t even double as a flotation device, I was still tempted to buy it. But I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone was going to be as turned when I no longer had it on. Put simply, would the one thing that was giving me attention end up being my biggest downfall?

Push-up bras are just big teases, but if you don’t tease a little, you’re not going to get what you want. Women have been told to look for a guy who likes us for who we are inside just as much as who we are on the outside, if not more. Does that mean what’s inside the bra counts too?

My debate for next time: are chicks who wear push-up bras hotter or are chicks who don’t wear bras at all hotter? Discuss.