But I also like saving ze moneys!

On Saturday, I was discussing our rent with my roommate. Alex casually mentioned that the only reason I was paying more rent than him was that I was being charged for the square footage of the sunroom. With obvious religious stereotypes aside, I do try to get my money’s worth for things. So, for that, and more for the reasons we were out of beer and I was bored, I cleaned out the sunroom. I removed the metal washtub (seriously), broken stereo and my personal favorite, the cooler with foul water and expired Yuenglings. A quick sweep later, and suddenly the room actually looked nice, not like some alley for the treasures of homeless person with ADD (no offense Alex).

Thus, I was presented with the question—what now? I perused Ikea’s website for ideas, when my friend John sent me an IM. Some background for those who don’t know John—he’s probably the most Ikea-centric person I know. He’s taught me what a sconce was (I thought it was what English people ate with tea) and the difference between a duvet and a comforter. It was a cosmic sign from the designer gods that if I’m on Ikea, John is my guardian angel.

We went to Ikea an hour later and walked through the maze of Swedish furniture names. Mounds of Malm bedsteads later, I left with a table, two chairs, Chinese lanterns and ferns. I went to the Home Depot to get some soil, and I was set. Yet, still unsettled. I have to admit, part of me was not used to this luxury of going in and buying these opulent items. Thus, today is when I realized what was wrong—I’m the reason why I can’t have nice things. I love the thrill of finding second-hand crap and saving money too much.

While going to Ikea was cheaper than buying from other furniture stores, it still felt decadent. You mean I get to make my own coffee rings on this table? They’re not already there? So, on my lunch break today, I went to Value Village, the local thrift store. Ahh…I felt like home there. Value Village is always an adventure and today was no exception. You can’t go in there looking for something. It’s not the warehouse of requirement. You just go knowing you want things and you want those things for cheap.

I knew it was going to be a good day when they announced in English and Spanish over the loudspeaker that all shoes, blouses, gala dresses, TVs and sporting equipment was half off until 2 PM. Granted I didn’t need all of those things, but for half off of already low prices, how can I say no? I didn’t buy a TV with rabbit ears or lacrosse armor (it didn’t fit), but I ended up getting shoes for $4.98 and shirts for at most $2.97 each. Ironically, I didn’t buy anything for the sunroom, but that’s because I went in looking for stuff for that room. That’s just how the properties of Value Village physics work. Plus, now I have a VIP card that saves me 25% on Thursdays. Carpool applications to get in the Sharbear Express and use my value card begin now.

Even though I have a job now and a real paycheck, I still live my life on that minimum wage budget of college. Maybe I should break that habit since I might go on a date with a guy who recognizes the shirt I run in as a shirt he donated to charity three years ago.  Or, I’ll get tetanus from touching the frame of the picture I bought last month. It could happen. But for now, I have cute sandals with minimal toe sweat prints in them and I’m happy.