You know what sucks more than Valentine’s Day? The other 364 days of the year.

I bet you’re assuming that I’m going to rant about being single and lonely on Valentine’s Day. ‘Here it comes’, you’re probably thinking, ‘Sharon is going to whine that she’s going to spend her V-Day alone. Sharon is just afraid of love. Sharon is going to spend Monday with her two male lovers, Ben and Jerry”. Well, the jokes on you all. I prefer Breyer’s. That’s a sexy name, but also not the point. Valentine’s Day might pointedly remind you of your single status, but on February 15, we’re all equals again. I’m still single the day after the Cupid storm . Plus, I’m more into celebrating the other V-Days, such as VE-Day and VJ-Day. Buy me red, white and blue roses on May 8 and August 15. Now that’s love. 

Nothing gets people hotter than defeating the Axis.

I’ve never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day. I realized this yesterday when I was getting ready and put on a necklace with a heart on it. I’ve never had anyone buy me heart jewelry. I could rant about how sad this makes me or how empowered I feel because I don’t need a man to buy me jewelry and in the 21^st century, a woman can buy her own sterling silver pendant. Or I could just not give a shit and wear a necklace I bought for myself because I liked it. It’s similar to the bra I just bought because it makes my tits look fantastic. I bought them both on my own with no specific person in mind. Now that's self-actualization.

Valentine’s Day, I’ve realized, makes people hyperaware of their status in life. Do they let their relationship, or lack thereof define them? Do I really need a boyfriend to feel complete? Or do I need the ‘misery loves company’ attitude of my other single girl friends console me? I don’t need that one day in mid-February to feel loved or unloved. I’m very conscious about this the rest of the year, believe me. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it’s great. Most of the times, like everyone else, I get through it with a constant stream of beer. But that’s how I deal with everything now. I don’t drink more because I'm single anymore than I do during football games, baseball games, episodes of the Office and Law and Order: SVU and my personal favorite: body shots.

All I’m saying here readers, is that you can be single and miserable on Valentine’s Day, but suck it up, you’re going to be single and miserable on February 15, and 16, and 17. Same thing with my friends in relationships. Sure you’ll have sex amid a string quartet and a box of chocolates, but on February 15, you’re back to missionary position. Sorry to be bleak but you can just snap out of it. Don’t let this stupid holiday for a misunderstood Catholic saint bring you down. Just treat it like every other day, and hopefully, like a bee, if you ignore it, it will ignore you. If you don’t, you’ll get stung, your arm will swell up and you still won’t get laid. Spoiler alert: getting some on February 14^th feels just like it did the day before.