I bet you see what I did there. I tied Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell into the title of this post. I bet you thought my titles were just pure fluff. The kind of fluff that you turn into adorable stuffed animals and then give to me so I can love them forever and name them. It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die! Anyways, on to more important things that actually have grounding, like the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely thrilled and ecstatic that this stupid law was repealed. I’m just pissed it took so long. I know what a lot of your are thinking that I should just be happy it got repealed at all. But I’m tired of being Pollyannaish. I’m not going to play the glad game when it comes to our country, its armed services and its safety. Instead, I’m going to rant about something that got fixed, or at least will be fixed, only many years too late.
I’m sorry if you all came here to laugh and expected me to post a picture of two female soldiers making out. A) Sometimes I’m serious about the things I care about and B) I couldn't find one on Google’s image search that I liked, even with my parental filter off (you'll understand why I chose the picture I did in a bit). The truth is, I’m upset that idiots like John McCain out there think our country is in danger if we allow openly gay individuals into our military. He picked Sarah Palin as his running mate in 2008. You think he’s capable of good decisions? And furthermore, you know what puts our country in more danger, John McCain? Not having an army that feels backed and supported by its country.
I couldn’t imagine committing myself to a cause that would let me commit to it, but only if I hid a huge part of my person. Let’s say I could join the army but only if I didn’t tell people I have hypoglycemia. Sure, I could hide the fact I got shafted by my pancreas and have low blood sugar all the time. I could just make up an excuse that I eat all the time because my boyfriend broke up with me and eating heals the open wound that is my heart but that’d be lying about who I am. I’m not ashamed of my condition. And being gay is no different than my hypoglycemia. I was born that way and quite frankly, having low blood sugar is probably more dangerous than being gay (not that being gay is dangerous) because I pass out if I don’t eat like every fifteen minutes. Seriously. And now I’m out of the blood sugar closet. Man, that feels good to get off my chest.
Oh right, the reason for my picture. I did Google the phrase "sexy+hypoglycemia" and this piece of eye candy showed up, even though I did search through six pages of results. I know there's a pun in there somewhere with hypoglycemia and candy, just figure it out. Hypoglycemia can be sexy and its sufferers should be treated as human beings. They are not people who just lie there during, um, adult times because they don't have energy to be on top. They're teetering on the brink of a sugar deficient coma. Learn the warning signs and give them a snack, for crying out loud. Didn't George Costanza teach us that a sandwich during sex is erotic? I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.
Back to more important things besides comas and sandwich sex. I hope that anyone who loves this country as much as I do can serve it in the way America deserves to be served. I’m pretty sure our founding fathers didn’t care who was in our armies as long as they hated the Red Coats. As Abraham Lincoln said, “A house divided cannot stand” or something to that effect. If we’re too busy bickering about who can be in our military, we miss the larger threat of people who already want to weaken our army…let’s call these people terrorists. I’m pretty sure the leaders of Al Quaeda don’t care if they kill a straight solider or a gay soldier. We’re all Americans in the end and that’s what people need to remember. America may not be perfect but we’re making good albeit slow strides. Plus, if you ladies out there like to make out with girls drunk at a party (and who doesn’t), you should be entitled to serve this country with pride. Just take pictures first.
Anyways, I did promise you a list of grievances, so here is a list of things that do piss me off that didn’t merit a whole blog post: the games of pedestrian Frogger I play when I drive on University/193, the ineptitude of the State of Maryland to deal with a small snow shower, capers on fish and people who cut me in line at CVS when they have triple the items I do. I figured Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was more important. And so is a picture of Ali Larter. She's so misunderstood.
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