NO TOUCHING!

Hi all. Sorry I haven't updated in a week. I bet you all missed my drivel on notaries and feminism. I was out having this thing called a life, which included being on site for a big work deal with the government and, ::gasp:: getting sick. But wait...doesn't Sharon not believe in germs? On numerous occasions, I have proclaimed my disbelief in germs. I still maintain that. I believe my sickness was similar to that of a phoenix's rebirth. My fever was just me shedding my feathers to be reborn from my ashes...I mean the bed I stayed in for two days watching reruns of Frasier.

Back on to life. Let's face it, I spend a lot of time talking about things I don't like--women, children, basically anyone who would have been saved on the Titanic. However, I want to talk about something I do like--efficient public bathrooms. I still don't believe in germs but I like bathrooms where I don't come in contact with anything a human touches. Quite simply, I like a bathroom where it does all the work for me, besides you know, actually going to the bathroom for me.

When it comes to using the bathroom, I like when the experience opens doors for me. Literally. I love bathrooms that have automatic doors where I don't touch door handles. I'm not savvy with this push or pull door phenomenon. Also, I like toilets that have automatic flushers.  So what if it flushes before I'm done? It's courtesy. I don't want to look at my pee any more than the toilet wants it in there. You know what I really love? I love the hands-free handwashing experience. Nothing gives me a bigger thrill than when I can hit the big trifecta--automatic sinks with faucets, automatic soap dispensers and the automatic paper towel dispenser or those high tech Dyson hand dryers. How great is it when your hands are just washed for you, and all you have to do is wave your hands by sensors like some game of hygienic chicken to get what you need. In Soviet Russia, hands wash you! Nope, not anymore Yaakov Smirnoff. Today, I hit the trifecta with my on-site visit for work. In American government bathrooms, hands wash you. (Michael Kowalchuk, please don't use this as a springboard to compare/contrast our government to Soviet Russia)

I don't want to come across as lazy. I mean, I am but I don't want to be called it in a nasty Facebook comment. I probably will. I guess it just gives me a little feeling of joy when something mundane is done for me. How great would it be if we could apply the same technology into picking out an outfit or taking out the garbage? It's the little things in life.

PS-sorry there is not hot girl on this post. For one reason, I decided I want people to read for my ideas, not my sexy eye candy. Also, as much as some people might want it, I'm not posting a picture of a hot girl taking a dump. Girls don't poop anyways. It's science.