rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yay god!

I’ll admit it. I’m a bit of a fatass. I’m kind of like a fat girl trapped inside a skinny girl’s body. Even as I write this, I’m surrounded by a bag of Sun Chips and cheese bourekas. At least I have a diet coke, which pretty much negates anything I’ll eat today. Let’s go back to the Sun Chips, which are the impetus for this blog post.

As many of you may know, some Sun Chips bags are made out of plant based materials. Consequently, they are compostable. I’m an advocate for any measure that saves the planet. I recycle like a fiend, even to the point where I’ll bring home bottles from restaurants that don’t recycle to recycle them on my own. I print on both sides of paper. Heck, I even conserve beer during those epic games of beer pong. But this blog isn’t about glorifying me. I like be conservative and efficient with my resources, as I’m sure many of you remember from my post about bathrooms that do all the work for you. Anyways, the Sun Chips got me thinking about all the foods I love that leave no waste.

One of my favorite restaurants to eat out at is Panera. I enjoy Panera because I am a self proclaimed carb-ivore and everything on their menu is made from bread. Even the bowls. That’s right fellow readers that live under rocks, you can eat soup in a bread bowl. This made me think, which is always dangerous—why can’t we make more things out of bread? Do you know happy I am when I can literally eat everything on my plate? (Aaron Katz will never know this joy, as he is an extreme waster of food).  Bread is the staple food. Suck it, rest of the food pyramid, we all know who makes up 6-11 our servings a day.  It is about time we gave bread some more responsibilities. Maybe we can have bread plates, or cups. Bread frying pans would only leave toast as a byproduct. Delicious.  But bread can’t do it alone.  Why can’t we make more things that are previous inedible, edible? If they can make edible underwear, I don’t understand why we can’t have edible everything else.

As a dangerous solution to this problem, I go back to the Sun Chips. A lot of things, such as those bags, are compostable. I’ve learned the hard way that compostable does not mean edible unless you try hard enough. Those of you who worked with me at Hillel during Sustainability Shabbat will remember me drunkenly trying to eat a compostable fork with little success. Dare I be radical and say all packaging should be edible or at the very least, compostable? I’m fine with my proclamation. There’d be much less waste if everyone could just eat everything. Imagine, if you will, a world where plastic does not exist but everything is wrapped in the same substance that a Fruit Roll-up is made out of. Paper towels could be pitas. Waste would be negligible, as people would just eat everything. The only waste generated is that human waste byproduct of eating too much, i.e. poop.

Do your part, blog readers. Think about your carbon footprint and buy food that you can eat at least 90% of, wrapper and all. If Charlie Kelly can eat stickers all the time (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BClZx2W1Hsg) , I don’t see why we can’t eat cellophane.

[and this logic is why I sucked on my LSATs]