I have a lady boner for America and I don't care who knows it.

I learned that if I want people to actually care about what I say, then I have to attach a hot chick to my post and put it on Facebook. Strangely, I'm okay with this because it means I get to Google the phrase "sexy" along with my topic of the day, and get to look at ladies. Hopefully I don't ever make a post dedicated to obesity. Blegh. Anyways, with yesterday being Thanksgiving, I hope that everyone had an excellent holiday, filled with the three Fs: family, friends and food comas. If you managed to do anything else that began with an F, then more power to you. Frankly, I'm jealous. This Thanksgiving season, I'm thankful for the one woman who never lets me down: America.

Yesterday, I ran the Manchester Road Race with a good friend of mine. I got to the race a little early (half an hour, because I'm yekkish) and I was bored. Since reading a book is now out of style, I decided to text the one friend who would be up this early--my friend Asher. Asher is one of the few people who love America more than me and actually does something about it--he joined the Army instead of attaching American flag bikini babes to online posts. I text him a Happy Thanksgiving message and received a response back almost immediately wishing me the same. I asked him what he was up to. Surely the US Army does something amazing for our troops in training. I don't have my phone on me (story of my life) so I can't retype me text exactly but I think I said something to the effect of "Are you stuffing your turkey with the corpses of Al Queada?"  It's a little off color, but whatever. Asher replied back, "Nope, just a standard work day".

Woah, woah woah. First of all, this is not my Batman cup Lois. Second, our Army doesn't give the troops a real Thanksgiving? I was angry. I still am, which is why I'm writing this. First off, I have nothing abut the highest respect for our armed services (besides the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy) and admire the men and women who sacrifice the prime of their lives to defend our country. I mean, what's more American than Thanksgiving? It is a day full of football, fatness, family, friends (more F's) and sticking it to the British who oppressed us. (PS--we showed you up again a couple of decades later, suck it!) The fact that Asher didn't get this is heartbreaking. He deserves it more than anyone I know.

When the National Anthem played before my race yesterday, people talked through it. It's about a minute long and you can't keep quiet out of respect for the country who does nothing but give to you? If you talked during the anthem of a Communist country, I bet they'd shoot you. The fact we don't get shot in America means that we're a better country for it, and you should show some gratitude. I'm sick and tired of you Orioles fans shouting 'O' towards the end. There is no way you can love a sucky baseball team that much to interrupt the anthem of our country!

The only time I heard true silence during the Star Spangled Banner was at the Navy football game I was at last week. Everyone, even the children, stopped what they were doing, looked toward the nearest flag and put their hands over their hearts. I was awed and I don't get awed very easily. Even the Navy fighter jet flyover didn't awe me as much as the absolute silence.

I guess what this post is imploring you to do is not save the visible patriotism for members of the armed services and their immediate friends and family. You don't have to be a member of the Tea Party to love this country in public. You don't need to decorate your car with bumper stickers declaring your pride or even fly a flag on your house. More importantly, you don't have to agree with everything this country does, I certainly don't. But I'm glad America gives us the opportunity to dislike parts of it but love the whole. I mean, if I wrote this blog in a Communist country, I'd probably get shot. That, and for the poor grammar.