You got the kinda lovin' that can be so smooth

Happy Friday everyone! Hopefully you all made it through the week. Hopping on the bandwagon only a couple of years too late, I’ve recently discovered the best way to start my day: the smoothie. Now, you’re probably all wondering why I would discuss my breakfast details with you. I mean, it’s just breakfast, right? Not when it’s done this well.

You might all remember my roommate from the earlier posts of the bathroom drama. I’ve been successfully trained, and toothbrushes everywhere can welcome my arrival. Since he’s full of good ideas (my roommate, not the toothbrush), I occasionally listen to what he says. Almost every other morning, he starts the day of with a smoothie that includes more ingredients than a batch of cookies. When he thinks I’m doing the Washington Post crossword, I secretly watch his prowess with the blender. I mean, how does he know the right quantities of banana to yogurt? Or flax to cinnamon? Awestruck, I watch the confidence in his finger as he presses the ‘liquefy’ button. And no surprises here, it comes out perfect every time. Like Pauly D’s hair.

Since I’m a woman of action, I decided that I needed to get in on this magic. Armed with confidence and a back of frozen berries, I proceeded to the counter. I dumped in a banana, broken into quarters. Threw in some yogurt (I got help with the spatula—thanks Alex!) and dechucked the frozen mass of fruit. I thought I had everything. Indeed, it looked like a sexy produce disaster encapsulated in a shuttle destined for space. Well, that’s what my brain thought this morning. Armed with confidence, I hit blend…and nothing. Turns out, I needed more liquid. Milk was poured in and one minute of eardrum blasting noise later, I had a smoothie. And five minutes to drink it before I had to go for work.

It was suggested I ‘pound’ it, but in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t. It’s been 2 hours since I made the smoothie and I’m still enjoying it. It’s in a plastic Bud Light cup next to me and every ten minutes or so, I treat my mouth to a delicious fruity experience. I’ll probably get a food borne illness for leaving yogurt at room temperature for so long, but it’s not like I believe in germs or anything.

What’s the point then? I mean, its all fun and good to hear about my morning routine (I have other shocking stories) but the point I’m trying to make is that breakfast doesn’t have a set start and end time. I’m proposing that we lengthen breakfast. It’s a good meal and there’s no reason you don’t have time for it if you literally make the morning your whole time. Just chill out and take like thirty minutes to eat toast. You can multi-task. Poptarts and applying makeup go hand in hand. Eggs and reading the paper are just made for each other. Maybe I’ll try eating waffles in the shower.

I am sick of people slacking on the B-fast. Plus, you’re more likely to overeat at lunch, and nobody likes a fatty. You don’t have to be as extreme as me and wake up half an hour early so you’re not rushed. Just make breakfast a literal part of you. You won’t regret it. Unless your smoothie does make you vomit. Then I’m sorry.