Signing and Dining: My desire to become a Notary

Yesterday at work, I had to get a form notarized for my boss. I’m not sure if you realize what this entails. We had to Google where a notary was, see if they were open, find out directions, draw me a map since I am clueless with previously stated directions and drive to a notary. This meant filling out paperwork, having my license photo mocked (are you really 22? This looks like this is your learner’s permit) and waiting for some man to emerge from a creepy basement room to sign my forms for three dollars each. Really, it’s not a big deal. I mean, I love going new places and meeting new people. Then, I realized I could fix all of these petty, insignificant grievances with one solution: become a notary.

It dawned on me at the UPS store that this was the only feasible solution. I mean, everybody hates hunting down a notary. I don’t know anyone who has a go-to notary on their speed dial.  It’s a lengthy process for someone to just sign a piece of paper and stamp it for you. But if *I* were a notary, I could just do this for the company and save everyone time and money. Plus, I’d get to meet new people who don’t want to see me because I’m a nuisance.

Because I’m a friendly person, I chewed the ear off my notary at the UPS store in Wheaton. While he signed and stamped, I asked him how he became a notary. Apparently, it’s simultaneously less and more complicated than I thought. I envisioned scenes of studying for a difficult notary exam and this man being from a long chain of notaries. One of those awesome dynasties, like people who are undertakers or Rabbis.

In reality, you submit an application to the Secretary of State with a non-refundable $20.00 processing fee. Sounds a lot like the SATs. It then goes to the State Senator of the applicant's senatorial district. If the Senator approves the application, it is returned to the Secretary of State, and appointment will be made upon approval of the Governor. How cool is that? I’d get to meet some BFDs even before I became a notary! My new bff, the notary at the UPS store told me that there are different levels of notary status you can obtain. The fees are mandated. You make roughly $2-3 for every document you sign. Just by putting your signature and stamping it a piece of paper. Children do this in preschool.

I couldn’t get a straight answer out of him why he wanted to do this. Maybe he was embarrassed. Maybe his English was really that bad. Maybe I don’t need words. Like him, we share the calling of the notary.

Post script: Upon drafting this, I went to the notary page and saw the following stipulations for applying to be a notary. An applicant must be:

-At least 18 years of age,
-Of known good character, integrity and abilities, and
-Living or working in the State of Maryland.

Well, if this isn’t impetus for me to get my Maryland driver’s license (with a picture that makes me look at least 18) and to give myself a good character overhaul, I don’t know what is. Becoming the notary might make me a better and legal Maryland citizen. Thanks for the wake up call!